like ok i rlly thought i could make things work w ruizhi because he obviously really didnt want me to leave me and no matter what i say he's just being bloody stubborn but yet he's so fragile and i can't bear to break him again because this time, he might not be able to fix himself back. his past really fucked him up and now im just gonna hurt him again. what kind of person am i? a fucking horrible one, plus i can never love him back as much as he loves me

and then seekiat.. he treated me so well, we clicked so well, he would do anything for me... i also hurt him alot. i made him feel like a third party, a spare tyre. but he never was one to me. never. i cared alot for him too. i don't love him though. but i really cared. and just when i was ready to give my all back, he decided to up and leave. i told him i just decided he was the one i really needed, he told me he needed time to think. but that's just bullcrap ah, he told me in the end he had  no feelings for me anymore LOL K cool story 

just fuck everything la ok even my mom told me i fucked up real bad lol kk im so done

and.. i quit sp hahaha gonna start at kaplan next year