i'm so confused myself now, what do i even want? who i care for? i don't know. alot of things have changed. we all have separate lives now, different friends different courses, different schools. we've all grown in our own way, regardless of it in a good or bad way. i guess, in the end, nothing goes the way we planned.. i always thought the 3 of us would always stay together, even if we went to different schools, and we would grow old together (haha) but i guess in the end, not everything goes the way we planned it to.

right now, in school, i had this glimmer of hope i could maybe see you at spectrum, sitting there, laughing with you friends. i don't know why, i just thought you would. i really hoped you were. but slowly, i know i'll stop looking out for you. i used to take the long route just to see if you were at those usual places you always went to study at, or slack, hoping i could at least see you, maybe ask you to go smoke with me. but i know you want to quit. it's selfish of me, but thats the only thing that connects you to me now.

i also kind of miss isaac, because he took my mind off you for a while. and i hope he will forever.

so yea i'm pretty confused and fucked up idk..